In a candid interview on “The Jamie Kern Lima Show”, professional dancer Allison Holker shared new insights about her late husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, revealing the profound effects of his Ayahuasca journey.
Holker was on the podcast to promote her newly released memoir, “This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light”.
tWitch, widely known for his role as the DJ on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, tragically died in December 2022 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, leaving fans and the entertainment world in shock.
During the interview Holker explained that his Ayahuasca experience marked a significant turning point in his life, leaving an indelible mark not only on him but also on their family.
“I think it was a very big turning point for him. I feel like his heart was never really in the same place when he came back. There was something missing in his eyes,” she explained.
According to Wikipedia, Ayahuasca, is a South American psychoactive beverage, traditionally used by Indigenous cultures and folk healers for spiritual ceremonies, divination and healing a variety of psychosomatic complaints.
The “plant-based psychedelic” can lead to intense hallucinations and heightened emotional experiences that can stir significant inner reflection.
However, such explorations can also come with unforeseen challenges, as Holker shared: “It just kind of feels like he opened something up to himself that he never healed and never fully escaped.”
While celebrating the love and bond they shared, Holker acknowledged the impact of tWitch's choices on their three children, Maddox, 9, Zaia, 5, and her daughter Weslie, 16, from a previous relationship.
“That's a really fine line I have to walk as a mother right now ... because they are very hurt by their father's decision, and they have a lot of triggers that they have to be in therapy now to really work through.
“But what I am impressed with is that they are doing the work, and they are putting in the time, and they are finding joy in life, and they are finding laughter again, but there's a lot to unpack for them that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives.”
Holker's decision to share their story in her memoir came with a lot of criticism from family and social media.
Addressing the criticism she clarified her intentions saying: “To fans of Stephen and our family and friends, I want to be clear that my only intention in writing the book is to share my own story as well as part of my life with Stephen to help other people ...
“Just like you, I never really knew what happened and even as I am trying to put the pieces together I will never really know.”
Watch the full interview below.