You know how often we remind everyone about cyber security?
Like, every second week. Every time someone in the know warns us of some new scam, we warn you.
Emails from tech companies, banking institutions or think tanks are scoured to see if there’s info we need to deliver to you, so you can be aware and on guard.
Our IT security boffs have a strict and scary policy in place and big yellow nuclear-reactor warnings on potential scams and whenever we reply to a mail previously unseen by the “system”. Per their instructions, we mainly read stuff that is in the body of the email, with only regular or known attachments clicked on.
It has put the fear of the cyber gods in me.
I’ve even ignored attachments or links sent to me, via all digital means, by “Sars”. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Truth is, I’m too scared to visit the authenticated, authorised website to see how much I owe them this year. I will screw my courage to the sticking place soon.
Recently, I confessed to my addiction to action/spy/cop series and last weekend, I had proper justification to binge-rewatch my faves.
The snow, man.
The only place to be was on the couch. For all of us. Once all five had squished our bums into a spot under the big blankie, no one moved for fear of losing their spot. There was a lot of wriggling and shivering and cuddling. The only hand that moved held the remote.
But something did stir. I understand the reasoning for this aberration, but all these cyber security warnings have taken hold.
I find myself yelling at the TV: why aren’t all your top-secret superspy laptops and cellphones protected by a 16-digit code so the bad guys can’t hack you, track you or steal your phone while you have been momentarily stunned by a vicious blow to the head? Some even have thumbs chopped off to unlock screens.
These are super-power people from the whole salad ‒ FBI, CIA, LAPD, SWAT, DEA, NSCI, DIA, NSA, MI5, DGSI, Mossad, the triads, Isis, FSB, GRU ‒ all of whom use tracking, tracing and superhacks of their foes’ top secret online data to hunt them down. They often don’t even hide from big data miners like FB or Google.
I know no one wants the action to stop while the battered hero enters a pin so he or she can send an SOS to a sidekick.
Big productions pay fortunes to consultants to make them as realistic as possible and action scenes are choreographed brutal ballet. When the hero is causing GBH to more than one attacker, it takes one or two blows to floor ’em, but when it’s one on one for a Big Fight Scene, the killer-blows rain down with little effect because they both have to live for the plot line. Gun safety (fingers off the trigger between “shoots” for example, pardon the pun) and making sure all us viewers know they understand crossfire and firing angles.
There’s never a bathroom break, unless it’s to have a fight in the facility where heads are bashed against ablutions.
It’s all play-play, I remind myself. Don’t let literal ruin a good plot.
But as any concerned cyber consumer should be, it’s built in now, so be a cyber-secure action hero and watch your six.
- Lindsay Slogrove is news editor
The Independent on Saturday