Breakups are tough whether it’s the end of a romantic relationship or a friendship that once felt unbreakable. Even when you know it's for the best, the emotional toll can feel overwhelming. The sadness, anger, guilt and loneliness can hit hard, making it seem impossible to move forward. But healing is possible and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Why are breakups so hard?
Breaking up isn't just about losing a person, it’s about losing the future you imagined together. Your brain, which thrives on routine and familiarity, struggles to adjust when someone who was once important is suddenly gone.
Science even backs this up! Studies show that romantic rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Friendship breakups can be just as painful. Losing a best friend means losing a confidant, a support system and a shared history.
Unlike romantic breakups, where society encourages mourning, friendship breakups often go unacknowledged making them even harder to process.
But here’s the good news: You will heal. And these seven steps can help.
1. Allow yourself to feel (yes, even the ugly emotions):
It’s natural to want to push away the pain but suppressing emotions only prolongs the healing process. Let yourself grieve, whether that means crying, journaling or venting to a friend.
Remind yourself: feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re weak it means you care.
Try this: write a letter to your ex (or ex-friend) expressing everything you feel then rip it up or burn it. Listen to breakup songs (yes, Adele is practically a therapist).
2. Cut off contact (at least for now) Keeping in touch prevents healing:
It’s tempting to check their social media or send a "just seeing how you are" text but this keeps emotional wounds open. If you’re struggling with the urge to reach out, try the 30-day no-contact rule no texts, calls or social media stalking. Give your heart space to breathe.
Pro tip: Mute or unfollow them on social media (so you’re not tempted to “accidentally” check their stories).
Delete old messages and photos if they make you spiral.
3. Lean on your support system:
One of the hardest parts of a breakup is feeling alone. But you don’t have to go through it solo. Surround yourself with friends, family, or even a therapist who can offer perspective and comfort.
Call a friend and plan a fun distraction (movie night, road trip, or even just a long walk).
Join a new social group meeting new people helps shift your mindset.
4. Focus on self-care (because you deserve it!):
A breakup can take a toll on your mental health, sleep and even appetite. Prioritising self-care isn’t just a cliché it’s a necessity.
Self-care ideas: Move your body: Exercise releases endorphins, which boost your mood.
Sleep well: Aim for 7-9 hours of rest to help regulate emotions.
Eat nourishing foods: A pint of ice cream is fine, but don’t forget real meals.
5. Reframe the narrative (it wasn’t a waste of time):
It’s easy to think: "I wasted so much time on them!" but every relationship teaches you something.
Instead of focusing on what you lost, ask yourself:
What did I learn about myself?- What do I want (or not want) in future relationships? Every experience, even painful ones, shapes you into a stronger, wiser version of yourself.
6. Rediscover yourself (remember who you were before them!):
When you're in a relationship (or deep friendship), your identity can become intertwined with theirs. Now is the perfect time to focus on your own growth.
Try a new hobby or challenge: Take a dance class, start painting or finally learn that instrument you've always wanted to try.
Travel somewhere new even if it’s just a solo day trip. Rebuilding your identity outside of the relationship is empowering.
7. Keep moving forward (even if it’s slow):
Healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel strong and independent, and other days, you might miss them terribly. That’s okay. The key is to keep going.
Remind yourself: Time heals even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
You are worthy of love and happiness. Breakups hurt but they also create space for new beginnings. Whether it’s a romantic partner or a best friend, losing someone is painful but it’s also an opportunity to grow, rediscover yourself, and build a life that makes you happy.
So take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. And remember: The best is yet to come or not.