An increasing number of British parents are being attacked by their children, a disturbing report reveals.
Researchers warn that they are being subjected to physical violence, intimidation and aggression that goes far beyond normal rows and child development problems.
The charity Parentline Plus has received 22 537 calls in two years from mothers and fathers struggling with their children’s extreme behaviour Almost 7 000 concerned physical abuse and 14 000 dealt with verbal aggression.
And although the family home should be a haven, it is nearly always the place where physical attacks take place - with mothers bearing the brunt of the aggression.
Parents say they struggle with children of all ages, but problems peak between the ages of 13 and 15.
You might expect boys to behave differently to girls. But in fact, both sexes as likely to be physically and verbally abusive - although boys are more likely to use both forms of aggression on parents.
One mother told how her 14-year- old daughter had threatened to burn the house down and pulled doors off hinges when asked to do simple things such as pick up mess she’d made.
The woman said she was so stressed she felt “broken”.
Another said her 15-year-old daughter had done “exactly as she wants” for six months, returning home from school late at night and disappearing over the weekend.
She said: “This morning because I wouldn’t take her to school and buy her some tobacco, she flew into a rage, threw everything off my sideboard, smashed a glass and ripped a towel rail off the wall, constantly swearing and telling me she f***ing hated me.”
According to a survey by the charity, more than 70 percent of parents said their child was aggressive every day. Nearly nine in 10 said the aggression took the form of “angry outbursts”.
More than half use bad language, 47 percent destroyed property, 42 percent hurt or injured a family member and one in five reported “risky” underage behaviour such as drinking and stealing.
Parents said they felt “desperate, ashamed, helpless and out of control”.
And the problems didn’t end there. Aggressive behaviour was linked to crime, gang and weapon carrying, smoking, anti-social behaviour and children wanting to leave home, the report revealed.
Although teenagers are traditionally troublesome and “a majority" of parents sought help from Parentline at that time, for many families, the problems appear to start much earlier.
Almost 30 percent of parents identified the problem when their children were toddlers and 37 percent at adolescence. Some 3 percent said the aggression began “at birth”.
According to the research, a stable family can help prevent problems. Almost half the calls to the charity about extreme child behaviour came from single mothers and 15 percent said the problems began when parents split up.
Jeremy Todd, of Parentline Plus, said: “While aggressive outbursts are a normal part of a child’s development, many of the families we are in contact with are dealing with much more serious and entrenched problems.
“Families who find themselves unable to cope with and manage their child’s physically or verbally aggressive behaviour need a range of advice and support. The stigma attached to abuse can prevent families from seeking help early, preventing the problem from spiralling out of control.
“We urge all parents and families battling with serious behavioural problems to seek support, for the sake of their children and their own wellbeing.” - Daily Mail