For years I’ve been advocating doing Kegel exercises and using Benwa Balls. The reason? As we get older our pelvic floor starts to weaken, just like your jowls, all the muscles in your body start to lose mass and firmness.
Men and women who lose PC muscles are never very sexy. It leads to bladder leaks and weakens orgasms, so what’s not to love?
Very tight PC muscles in women are not so sexy when it comes to painful sex. I recently read an article which suggests that too many Kegel exercises could cause you to tighten up so much that sex can become painful. Which is a bad thing.
I know women who suffer from vaginismus, a condition that makes the vagina almost
impossible to penetrate. I’m not convinced that this is caused by too many Kegel exercises. If this is a condition you do suffer from, lay off the Kegels for now and let me know if it helps.
As we age (yes, I’m obsessed at the moment), women’s labia shrink and, in some cases, disappear. This makes wearing trousers very uncomfortable, so you can imagine what sex feels like.
Using an estrogen cream can help slow the process down and make everything a bit more comfortable. There are still many who don’t believe in HRT (hormone replacement therapy).
If you are one of them, please do some research. Yes, there are the few who absolutely can’t but there are more of us that can. There is absolutely no need to suffer.
Find yourself a health care professional who knows and understands what you are going through. The same advice goes for men who are suffering from a range of erectile issues.
Go to the doctor and get it sorted. It is more common than you think.
If you are at risk of hormone mediated cancer, then you do need to add hyaluronic acid based vaginal moisturisers to your daily routine. It is a very important supplement for severe
symptoms. Can you imagine walking around with sandpaper between your legs?
They come as a suppository or as a gel and applied topically. Your life will change. This reminds me of a very grumpy cat I had. Its teeth were rotten, and gums ulcerated. I couldn’t get near it. I had its teeth removed and suddenly it was a different animal. The same goes for us. Sort out the discomfort and we are suddenly much nicer beings.
These moisturisers are for everyday self-care. They will not help when you are intimate. For this you need a lubricant. Buckets of lubricant.
Have one on both sides of the bed and the couch if necessary. The wetter, the better. You need to protect the ever-increasing thinning skin in your vagina, labia and clitoris. If you don't, tearing and infection will become a regular aggravation.
There are several fantastic lubricants on the market. I’m a bit of a lube snob. If the lubricant goes sticky I’m not using it. My favourite brand is Pjur. It comes in silicone and water based; it’s liquid gold. It’s available online from Lola Montez. It is pricey but you will use so little every time that it outlasts the cheaper brands.
Use lubricant even if there is not going to be any penetration. All the skin is thinning, and you don’t want to take any chances. UTIs become a very big problem if you don’t protect yourself.
You need to keep the cells healthy and encourage collagen stimulation. Your pelvic floor may feel too tight because estrogen, responsible for elasticity, drops dramatically during menopause. You may need to get some muscle memory going especially if you have not had penetrative sex for a while.
I highly recommend this for all of you who want to get back in the game or if you want to be comfortable as you age. Use dilator sets to create space and stretch the tissue. Start small and work your way up. Remember the lubricant and go slow.
Vibrators, the good old fashioned, straight up and down ones are great to stimulate blood flow and help the pelvic floor relax.
Explore what feels good. As if things aren’t difficult enough, how we receive pleasure and what feels good changes. Explore what that is for you. You can do this on your own or with a willing partner. You may be taken by surprise at how this exercise can increase intimacy with your partner.
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