Emotions are reactions that we all experience. What matters is what we do when we feel angry. If we care about the people we love, learning what we can do about it is the right way to go about it.
This week’s question comes from Mohapi in Bloemfontein: “I am a very short-tempered person, but generally happy. At times I get as angry as a lion. What’s wrong with me? I sweat, shake and vibrate I get so angry.”
Is this a recent experience that repeats itself, or have you always been like this, Mohapi? I'm guessing you haven't always been like this, which is why you are asking this question.
It makes sense to eliminate the most obvious reasons for your anger by answering these questions for yourself:
1) Did you change your diet and do you eat very sugary foods which might spike your emotions?
2) Do you use any stimulants, such as growth hormones or steroids for exercise purposes?
3) Are you on any medications that might affect your seratonin levels (the mind’s happy hormone)?
If you answered yes to any of the questions, it will be in your best interest to get a proper diagnosis from a health professional who can investigate further.
Any garbage we put into our bodies will create garbage results.
It's important to consider the questions when looking at a person as a whole being with a mind, body and soul. Holistically we understand anger through our thoughts and emotions.
Your generally happy mood seems to be interrupted by uncontrollable anger, which bleeds into your physical body and makes you shake, vibrate and sweat from the intensity.
Emotions are made up of the difference between what you want to happen to you and what actually happens. The emotion we call anger comes from being blocked from getting what you want, and the frustration of not having access.
The intensity of your emotion depends on how important the thing that you want is to you. Your emotional response can leave you debilitated when this is important to you.
Nobody can prevent emotions. When you accept everything that happens, you become a doormat who allows people to walk all over you.
But when you experience anger, what counts is how you respond to these internal emotions around people.
Emotions are just energy. It is preferable to transmute it into something useful. When you know how, you can create the life you want with this energy.
From a soul perspective, anger tells you that you are not in alignment. It's unacceptable to take your anger out on people. Often loved ones suffer the most when you are unable to change the anger energy into something useful.
To overcome the issue of controlling anger, it helps to know that anger is caused by the frustration of not feeling in control of what is happening. For the emotionally illiterate, a reaction can be taking one’s frustration out on the weak. For example, kicking the dog when you get home, because your boss, whom you can’t backchat, made you angry.
Only you will know if your anger caused any harm to you or your loved ones.
If it's possible to do something about your anger, or at least lessen its intensity, you have a moral duty to investigate your options. Something tells me that you asked this question, because you are not comfortable with what is happening to you.
Start with asking for forgiveness if you've hurt someone’s feelings in a moment of anger. Forgive yourself too and decide to do something about this. This is how you will take back the control you feel you’ve lost, step by step.
Every time you react to anger, it takes away your power. Since you can’t change what you feel in that moment, acknowledge what you feel and remove yourself from the situation until you can consider your options.
There are few things more dangerous than an angry partner with no control over his emotions. It will eventually lead to you feeling disconnected.
Adelé Green provides answers here when posted on www.adele-green.com/askadele/ or confidential, fee-for-service, individual coaching via Skype to men and women. She is a transformation specialist coach and the author of Can You See Me Naked: Grow in a conscious relationship.
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